Reptiles may be scaly and sometimes intimidating, but they’re also a great source of humor! Whether you’re a reptile enthusiast or just someone looking for a good laugh, you’ll find plenty of amusement in these 100+ reptile puns, jokes, and one-liners. From snakes to turtles and everything in between, let’s slither into a world of hilarity!
Top Reptile Puns
- Why was the snake feeling depressed? It just couldn’t shed its worries.
- What did the chameleon say to the other chameleon? “You look reptile-iant today!”
- Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the Shell Station!
- What do you call a lizard that sings? A rap-tile.
- Why don’t snakes ever argue? They like to hiss and make up.
- What’s a reptile’s favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory!
- How does a lizard keep its breath fresh? With repti-mint!
- What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A python.
- Why did the snake become a mathematician? It loved to adders!
- What did the reptile bring to the potluck? Scale-berry pie!
- What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hissss-tory.
- Why did the turtle refuse to play cards? It was afraid of being shell-shocked.
- How do you measure a snake? In inches—they don’t have feet!
- What’s a reptile’s favorite movie genre? Slithery-tainment.
- Why don’t turtles ever get into fights? Because they’re too shell-fish.
- What’s a snake’s favorite dance move? The mamba!
- How do you calm down an angry lizard? You tell it to take a chill-gator.
- Why don’t snakes ever take time off? They’re always shedding their workload.
- What’s a reptile’s favorite day of the week? Slitherin’ Saturday.
- Why did the lizard go to school? To become a reptile-ionaire!
- What do you call a snake that builds things? A boa constructor.
- Why did the snake go to school? To improve its hiss-tory grades.
- How do you talk to a crocodile? In his language: “Croco-dialect!”
- What’s a reptile’s favorite TV show? Game of Clones.
- Why was the lizard so good at basketball? It had great scales.
- What do you call a snake who works for the government? A civil serpent.
- How do you catch a squirrel with a snake? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
- Why did the reptile bring a ladder to the party? It heard the drinks were on the house.
- What do you call a snake who tells jokes? A hiss-terical comedian.
- Why don’t turtles ever play hide and seek? Because they’re always too slow to hide!
Best Reptile Puns
- Why did the snake become a math teacher? Because it knew how to scale down problems.
- What do you call a reptile that’s a good singer? A crocodile rock star.
- Why was the turtle happy? Because it just heard a “shell” of a joke!
- What do you get when you cross a snake and a dessert? A pie-thon.
- Why did the lizard go to school? To become a reptile-ionaire.
- What do you call a snake that’s exactly 3.14 meters long? A pi-thon.
- Why was the snake always so creative? Because it had a lot of scales-piration.
- What do you call a snake that’s good at math? An adder-tition expert.
- Why don’t reptiles ever get lost? Because they always find their way with a scale-map.
- What do you call a lizard that’s a famous musician? A rock-odile.
- Why did the reptile become a gardener? Because it had a green thumb.
- What do you call a snake that’s a famous comedian? A hiss-terical stand-up.
- Why was the snake always so up-to-date? Because it always read the scales-paper.
- What do you call a reptile who loves to gamble? A bet-turtle.
- Why did the lizard start a band? Because it had great scales!
- What do you call a reptile that’s always on time? Punctu-lizard.
- Why did the snake get a job at the zoo? It wanted to work in the hiss-tory department.
- What do you call a snake that’s a good swimmer? A sssssurfer.
- Why don’t reptiles ever make good detectives? Because they always lose their scales of evidence.
- What do you call a reptile that’s a master of disguise? A camou-flageleon.
- Why did the turtle refuse to fight? It didn’t want to get shell-shocked.
- What do you call a reptile that’s always prepared? A scale-boy scout.
- Why was the lizard so good at math? Because it was a reptile genius.
- What do you call a snake with a great sense of humor? A wry-thon.
- Why don’t reptiles ever get in trouble? Because they always stay out of scale!
- What do you call a reptile who’s a master chef? A grill-o-gator.
- Why did the snake go to school? To improve its hiss-tory grades.
- What do you call a reptile that’s always telling jokes? A hiss-terical comedian.
- Why did the lizard bring a ladder to the party? Because it heard the drinks were on the house!
- What do you call a snake who works for the government? A civil serpent.
Read More: Lizard Puns, Jokes And One-Liners
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Funny Reptile Puns
- Why did the reptile bring a ladder to the party? It heard the drinks were on the house!
- What do you call a snake who tells jokes? A hiss-terical comedian.
- Why don’t turtles ever play hide and seek? Because they’re always too slow to hide!
- What do you call a reptile who loves to gamble? A bet-turtle.
- Why did the lizard start a band? Because it had great scales!
- What do you call a reptile that’s always on time? Punctu-lizard.
- Why did the snake get a job at the zoo? It wanted to work in the hiss-tory department.
- What do you call a snake that’s a good swimmer? A sssssurfer.
- Why don’t reptiles ever make good detectives? Because they always lose their scales of evidence.
- What do you call a reptile that’s a master of disguise? A camou-flageleon.
- Why did the turtle refuse to fight? It didn’t want to get shell-shocked.
- What do you call a reptile that’s always prepared? A scale-boy scout.
- Why was the lizard so good at math? Because it was a reptile genius.
- What do you call a snake with a great sense of humor? A wry-thon.
- Why don’t reptiles ever get in trouble? Because they always stay out of scale!
- What do you call a reptile who’s a master chef? A grill-o-gator.
- Why did the snake go to school? To improve its hiss-tory grades.
- What do you call a snake who works for the government? A civil serpent.
- Why did the lizard bring a ladder to the party? Because it heard the drinks were on the house!
- What do you call a snake who tells jokes? A hiss-terical comedian.
- Why don’t turtles ever play hide and seek? Because they’re always too slow to hide!
- What do you call a reptile who loves to gamble? A bet-turtle.
- Why did the lizard start a band? Because it had great scales!
- What do you call a reptile that’s always on time? Punctu-lizard.
- Why did the snake get a job at the zoo? It wanted to work in the hiss-tory department.
- What do you call a snake that’s a good swimmer? A sssssurfer.
- Why don’t reptiles ever make good detectives? Because they always lose their scales of evidence.
- What do you call a reptile that’s a master of disguise? A camou-flageleon.
- Why did the turtle refuse to fight? It didn’t want to get shell-shocked.
- What do you call a reptile that’s always prepared? A scale-boy scout.
Funny Reptile Jokes And One-Liners
- Why did the reptile bring a ladder to the party? It heard the drinks were on the house!
- What do you call a snake who tells jokes? A hiss-terical comedian.
- Why don’t turtles ever play hide and seek? Because they’re always too slow to hide!
- What do you call a reptile who loves to gamble? A bet-turtle.
- Why did the lizard start a band? Because it had great scales!
- What do you call a reptile that’s always on time? Punctu-lizard.
- Why did the snake get a job at the zoo? It wanted to work in the hiss-tory department.
- What do you call a snake that’s a good swimmer? A sssssurfer.
- Why don’t reptiles ever make good detectives? Because they always lose their scales of evidence.
- What do you call a reptile that’s a master of disguise? A camou-flageleon.
- Why did the turtle refuse to fight? It didn’t want to get shell-shocked.
- What do you call a reptile that’s always prepared? A scale-boy scout.
- Why was the lizard so good at math? Because it was a reptile genius.
- What do you call a snake with a great sense of humor? A wry-thon.
- Why don’t reptiles ever get in trouble? Because they always stay out of scale!
- What do you call a reptile who’s a master chef? A grill-o-gator.
- Why did the snake go to school? To improve its hiss-tory grades.
- What do you call a snake who works for the government? A civil serpent.
- Why did the lizard bring a ladder to the party? Because it heard the drinks were on the house!
- What do you call a reptile who always gets lost? A wander-lizard.
- Why don’t snakes ever get angry? They just shed their frustrations.
- What do you call a reptile who loves math? An adder-mathician.
- Why did the lizard join a gym? It wanted to be the first reptile to have six-pack abs.
- What do you call a snake who’s a great dancer? A boa-groove.
- Why don’t turtles ever get into arguments? They always take a shell-fie instead.
- What do you call a reptile who’s a successful entrepreneur? A croco-dile in the business world.
- Why was the snake always invited to parties? It knew how to charm the crowd.
- What do you call a reptile who’s a famous actor? A Holly-lizard star.
- Why don’t snakes ever become teachers? They can’t handle the students’ hissy fits.
- What do you call a reptile who’s a good writer? A ssssscribe.
