250+ Monday Jokes & Puns to Start Your Week with a Laugh!

Mondays—often synonymous with groans, sighs, and dragging feet—need not be dull affairs. Injecting some humor into the beginning of the week can lighten the mood, boost morale, and set a positive tone for the days ahead.

From witty puns to rib-tickling jokes, here are over 250 quips to kickstart your Monday with a smile.

Start the Week with a Chuckle: Monday Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks!

Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm on Mondays? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk!
Did you hear about the math teacher who was late on Monday? He lost track of time and space.
What do you call a plant that likes Mondays? A blue-berry bush!
Why was the math book sad on Monday? It had too many problems.
How do you fix a broken tomato clock on a Monday? With a tomato paste!
Why did the scarecrow work extra hard on Monday? He was outstanding in his field.
Did you hear about the musician who only played on Mondays? He had a case of the blues.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms on Mondays? Because they make up everything.
What do you call a snowman on a Monday morning? A puddle.
Why don’t oysters give to charity on Mondays? Because they’re shellfish!
Why did the coffee file a police report on Monday? It got mugged.
Why did the calendar go to therapy on Monday? It had too many issues.
What do you get when you cross Monday with a vampire? A weak-end.
Why was the broom late for work on Monday? It overswept.
What did one Monday say to the other? See you next week!
Why did the belt go to jail on Monday? It held up a pair of pants.
Why don’t skeletons fight on Mondays? They don’t have the guts.
Why was the smartphone so tired on Monday? It had too many apps-solutely exhausting!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes on Mondays? They’d crack each other up.
Why did the tomato turn red on Monday? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet on Monday? Supplies!
Why don’t bicycles stand up on their own on Mondays? They’re two-tired.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants on Monday? In case he got a hole in one.
What did the left eye say to the right eye on Monday? Between you and me, something smells.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants on Monday? In case he got a hole-in-one!

Mouse-tastic Jokes & Puns for a Gouda Laugh!

Start Your Week with a Roar of Laughter: Funny Monday One-Liner Jokes!

Why don’t skeletons fight each other on Mondays? They don’t have the guts!
Why was the math book sad on Monday? It had too many problems!
What do you call a fake noodle on Monday? An impasta!
Why did the scarecrow win an award on Monday? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What do you call a bear with no teeth on Monday? A gummy bear!
Why was the calendar afraid of Mondays? Because it heard days are numbered!

Why did the bicycle fall over on Monday? It was two-tired!
How does a scientist freshen their breath on Monday? With experi-mints!
Why did the tomato turn red on Monday? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants on Monday? In case he got a hole in one!
Why did the belt go to jail on Monday? It held up a pair of pants!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes on Mondays? They’d crack each other up!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet on Monday? Supplies!
Why did the left eye say to the right eye on Monday? Between you and me, something smells!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants on Monday? In case he got a hole-in-one!
Why did the smartphone so tired on Monday? It had too many apps-solutely exhausting!
Why did the bicycle stand up on its own on Monday? It was two-tired!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants on Monday? In case he got a hole-in-one!
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone on Monday? He had no body to go with!
Why don’t oysters give to charity on Mondays? Because they’re shellfish!
What did one Monday say to the other? See you next week!
Why did the calendar go to therapy on Monday? It had too many issues!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms on Mondays? Because they make up everything!
Why was the broom late for work on Monday? It overswept!
Why did the coffee file a police report on Monday? It got mugged!

What do you call a grumpy cat on a Monday? A ‘meow’nday blues buster! QnA Jokes & Puns about Monday

Q: Why was the calendar so good at his job? A: He always had his days planned out.
Q: Why did the man stare at the can of orange juice on Monday? A: Because it said “concentrate.”
Q: Why did the tomato turn red on Monday? A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
Q: Why did the calendar go to therapy on Monday? A: It had too many issues.
Q: What do you call a fake noodle on Monday? A: An impasta!
Q: Why did the skeleton go to the party alone on Monday? A: He had no body to go with!
Q: Why was the math book sad on Monday? A: It had too many problems.
Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye on Monday? A: Between you and me, something smells.
Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award on Monday? A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet on Monday? A: Supplies!
Q: Why don’t bicycles stand up on their own on Mondays? A: They’re two-tired.
Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants on Monday? A: In case he got a hole in one.
Q: Why did the belt go to jail on Monday? A: It held up a pair of pants.
Q: Why don’t eggs tell jokes on Mondays? A: They’d crack each other up.
Q: Why did the smartphone so tired on Monday? A: It had too many apps-solutely exhausting!
Q: Why did the bicycle stand up on its own on Monday? A: It was two-tired!

Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants on Monday? A: In case he got a hole-in-one!
Q: Why did the skeleton go to the party alone on Monday? A: He had no body to go with!
Q: What did one Monday say to the other? A: See you next week!
Q: Why did the calendar go to therapy on Monday? A: It had too many issues!
Q: Why don’t scientists trust atoms on Mondays? A: Because they make up everything!
Q: Why was the broom late for work on Monday? A: It overswept!
Q: Why did the coffee file a police report on Monday? A: It got mugged!
Q: Why was the tomato so tense on Monday? A: It was under a lot of pressure!
Q: Why did the musician only play on Mondays? A: He had a case of the blues!

Start Your Week with a Laugh: Dad Jokes About Mondays

Dad: Why don’t scientists trust atoms on Mondays? Kid: I don’t know, why? Dad: Because they make up everything!
Dad: Want to hear a joke about construction on Mondays? Kid: Sure. Dad: I’m still working on it!
Dad: Why did the math book look sad on Monday? Kid: Why? Dad: Because it had too many problems!
Dad: Did you hear about the calendar’s big promotion? Kid: No, what happened? Dad: It had too many dates!
Dad: Did you know I can predict the future on Mondays? Kid: Really? How? Dad: With my Monday newspaper, it’s always about what’s ahead!
Dad: Why did the scarecrow get promoted on Monday? Kid: Why? Dad: Because he was outstanding in his field!
Dad: Why was the belt arrested on Monday? Kid: I don’t know, why? Dad: For holding up a pair of pants!
Dad: What’s a calendar’s favorite meal on Monday? Kid: I don’t know, what? Dad: Dates, of course!
Dad: Why did the tomato blush on Monday? Kid: Why? Dad: Because it saw the salad dressing!

Dad: Why did the bicycle fall over on Monday? Kid: I don’t know. Dad: Because it was two-tired!
Dad: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants on Monday? Kid: Why? Dad: In case he got a hole in one!
Dad: Why did the coffee file a police report on Monday? Kid: Why? Dad: It got mugged!
Dad: Why did the smartphone feel so exhausted on Monday? Kid: Why? Dad: It had too many apps-solutely exhausting!
Dad: Why did the calendar seek therapy on Monday? Kid: Why? Dad: It had too many dates to handle!
Dad: Why don’t eggs tell jokes on Mondays? Kid: I don’t know, why? Dad: Because they’d crack each other up!
Dad: Why did the skeleton go to the party alone on Monday? Kid: Why? Dad: Because he had no body to go with!
Dad: Why did the left eye say to the right eye on Monday? Kid: I don’t know, what? Dad: Between you and me, something smells!
Dad: Why was the tomato so tense on Monday? Kid: Why? Dad: It was under a lot of pressure!
Dad: Why did the musician only play on Mondays? Kid: Why? Dad: Because he had a case of the blues!
Dad: Why did the smartphone get grounded on Monday? Kid: Why? Dad: It kept making bad calls!
Dad: Why don’t skeletons fight each other on Mondays? Kid: I don’t know, why? Dad: They don’t have the guts!
Dad: Why did the janitor jump out of the closet on Monday? Kid: Why? Dad: Because he wanted to clean up with a surprise!
Dad: Why don’t bicycles stand up on their own on Mondays? Kid: I don’t know, why? Dad: They’re two-tired!
Dad: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants on Monday? Kid: Why? Dad: In case he got a hole-in-one!
Dad: Why was the broom late for work on Monday? Kid: Why? Dad: It overswept!

Funny Easter Sunday Puns, Jokes And One-Liners

Making ‘Monday’ Fun-Day: Puns & Jokes for Kids!

What did the calendar say to the clock on Monday? “You remind me of my numbers!”
Why did the tomato turn red on Monday? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don’t oysters give to charity on Mondays? Because they’re shellfish!
Why did the scarecrow win an award on Monday? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet on Monday? “Supplies!”
Why did the belt go to jail on Monday? It held up a pair of pants!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes on Mondays? They’d crack each other up!
What did the left eye say to the right eye on Monday? Between you and me, something smells!
Why did the smartphone so tired on Monday? It had too many apps-solutely exhausting!
Why did the bicycle stand up on its own on Monday? It was two-tired!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants on Monday? In case he got a hole-in-one!
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone on Monday? He had no body to go with!
What did one Monday say to the other? See you next week!
Why did the calendar go to therapy on Monday? It had too many issues!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms on Mondays? Because they make up everything!
Why was the broom late for work on Monday? It overswept!
Why did the coffee file a police report on Monday? It got mugged!
Why was the tomato so tense on Monday? It was under a lot of pressure!
Why did the musician only play on Mondays? He had a case of the blues!
Why did the smartphone get grounded on Monday? It kept making bad calls!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other on Mondays? They don’t have the guts!
Why did the janitor jump out of the closet on Monday? Because he wanted to clean up with a surprise!
Why don’t bicycles stand up on their own on Mondays? They’re two-tired!

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants on Monday? In case he got a hole-in-one!
Why was the broom late for work on Monday? It overswept!

Start Your Week with a Laugh: Funny Quotes about ‘Monday’!

“Monday is a fresh start. It’s never too late to dig in and begin a new journey of success.” – Unknown

“Monday is a day of beginnings and new starts. It’s a day where the week is before you and possibilities are endless.” – Unknown
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.” – Arthur Darvill
“Monday is the day that, even if you had a bad week, you can start a new one.” – Unknown
“Monday is the perfect day to correct last week’s mistakes.” – Unknown
“It’s Monday. Time to take over the world.” – Unknown
“Monday is the day when the slate from last week is wiped clean. Start afresh.” – Unknown
“Monday is a state of mind. Put on your positive pants and get stuff done!” – Unknown
“Monday is the day we are reminded that there is work to be done and new goals to be achieved.” – Unknown
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.” – Unknown
“Monday is the day to set the pace for a productive and fulfilling week.” – Unknown
“Monday is the day to kickstart your goals and set the tone for the rest of the week.” – Unknown
“Monday is the day to be back at your passion and start making your dreams come true.” – Unknown
“Monday is the day to take control of your destiny and set out to conquer new heights.” – Unknown
“Monday is a fresh start. Embrace it with enthusiasm!” – Unknown
“Monday is the day to turn your dreams into plans and your plans into action.” – Unknown
“Monday is not the day to be back at the grindstone. Monday is the day to be back at your passion. Turn your dreams into goals. Action them into reality.” – Unknown
“Monday is the perfect day to correct last week’s mistakes.” – Unknown
“Monday is the day to spark new ideas and ignite your creativity.” – Unknown
“Monday is the day to set the tone for a successful and fulfilling week ahead.” – Unknown
“Monday is the day to set goals and crush them!” – Unknown
“Monday is the day to take on new challenges and conquer them with gusto.” – Unknown
“Monday is the day to start fresh, chase your dreams, and make things happen!” – Unknown
“Monday is the day to set your intentions and make them a reality.” – Unknown
“Monday is the day to be unstoppable. Let nothing hold you back!” – Unknown

Start your Monday with a smile: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Monday

“Monday is the day to be like a sunflower—stand tall and find the sunshine even on cloudy days!”
“On Mondays, remember: Even a clock that has stopped working is right twice a day!”
“When life gives you Mondays, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day!”
“Mondays are like blank canvases—paint a masterpiece!”
“Monday is a reminder that even the best weekends come to an end, but there’s always another one around the corner!”
“Mondays are the perfect opportunity to reboot your mind and have a fresh start!”
“A Monday well-spent brings a week of content!”
“Mondays are for fresh starts and new beginnings—seize the day!”
“Monday is just another word for a chance to be awesome!”
“Don’t let Monday dampen your spirits—shine bright like the sun!”
“Mondays are for coffee, contemplation, and conquering challenges!”
“Monday is like a cup of tea—warm, comforting, and best enjoyed with a splash of humor!”
“Rise and shine—it’s Monday time! Embrace the day with open arms!”

“Monday is your runway—strut your stuff and take off into a fabulous week!”
“Mondays are for dreaming big and setting bold goals—make them count!”
“Start your Monday with a smile—it’s the secret ingredient to a successful week!”
“When life gives you Mondays, add a dash of humor and make it a party!”
“Mondays are for making memories—fill them with laughter and joy!”
“Monday is the perfect day to be your own sunshine and spread positivity!”
“On Mondays, let your inner sparkle shine brighter than any Monday blues!”
“Mondays are for fresh starts and second chances—embrace them with open arms!”
“When Monday knocks on your door, greet it with a grin and show it who’s boss!”
“Monday is your canvas—paint it with colors of joy, laughter, and success!”
“Mondays are for turning obstacles into opportunities and challenges into triumphs!”
“Start your Monday with a dose of optimism—it’s the key to unlocking a week of possibilities!”

Monday Mischief: Double the Fun with Double Entendres and Puns!

“Why don’t Mondays ever argue? They can never find the time, they’re too busy ticking!”
“Why did the tomato blush on Monday? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
“What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet on Monday? ‘Supplies!’”
“Why did the belt go to jail on Monday? For holding up a pair of pants!”
“Why don’t eggs tell jokes on Mondays? They’d crack each other up!”
“What did the left eye say to the right eye on Monday? ‘Between you and me, something smells!’”
“Why was the tomato so tense on Monday? It was under a lot of pressure!”
“Why did the musician only play on Mondays? He had a case of the blues!”
“Why did the smartphone get grounded on Monday? It kept making bad calls!”
“Why don’t skeletons fight each other on Mondays? They don’t have the guts!”
“Why did the janitor jump out of the closet on Monday? Because he wanted to clean up with a surprise!”
“Why don’t bicycles stand up on their own on Mondays? They’re two-tired!”

Start Your Week Off with Laughter: Recursive Puns about Monday

“Why did the calendar feel unwell on Monday? It had a case of the Mondays!”
“Why was the math book so sad on Monday? It had too many problems to count!”
“Why did the coffee refuse to leave the house on Monday? It was grounds for staying in!”
“Why did the smartphone break up with its charger on Monday? It needed some space to recharge!”
“Why did the bicycle avoid the hills on Monday? It didn’t want to pedal through the Monday blues!”

“Why did the scarecrow bring a pillow to work on Monday? To take a nap during his outstanding field hours!”
“Why did the tomato refuse to participate in Monday’s salad? It didn’t want to be tossed around on such a tough day!”
“Why did the musician switch to playing the accordion on Mondays? It gave him a chance to squeeze out some extra cheer!”
“Why did the left sock refuse to pair up with the right sock on Monday? It wanted to stand alone and make a fashion statement!”
“Why did the pencil refuse to write on Monday? It needed a graphite boost to get through the lead of the week!”
“Why did the clock refuse to tick on Monday? It wanted to pause time and delay the start of the week!”
“Why did the banana put on a superhero costume on Monday? It wanted to peel out of the Monday blues!”
“Why did the calendar feel anxious on Monday? It was worried about its days filling up too quickly!”
“Why did the pillow feel extra fluffy on Monday? It absorbed all the Monday blues and turned them into dreamy clouds!”
“Why did the grapefruit feel bitter on Monday? It couldn’t squeeze out any sweetness from the day!”
“Why did the umbrella stay indoors on Monday? It didn’t want to rain on its own parade!”
“Why did the candle refuse to burn on Monday? It needed a day off to melt away the stress!”
“Why did the loaf of bread feel crusty on Monday? It needed some extra dough to rise above the Monday madness!”
“Why did the mailbox feel overwhelmed on Monday? It couldn’t handle all the incoming Monday mail!”
“Why did the computer mouse feel jittery on Monday? It was scrolling through too many Monday memes!”
“Why did the light bulb feel dim on Monday? It needed a bright idea to shine through the start of the week!”
“Why did the book feel unreadable on Monday? It was too busy flipping through the pages of the week ahead!”
“Why did the cloud feel gloomy on Monday? It couldn’t find any silver lining in the Monday sky!”
“Why did the feather feel light-headed on Monday? It was floating through the Monday breeze!”
“Why did the sunglasses feel shady on Monday? They wanted to block out the glare of the week ahead!”

Conclusion:

In conclusion, Mondays don’t have to be dreaded; they can be infused with laughter and humor to make them more enjoyable. From witty puns to clever jokes, there are endless ways to start your week with a smile.

So, whether you’re facing the dreaded Monday blues or simply looking for a chuckle to kickstart your week, remember these humorous quips: