280+ High-Five Yourself With These Hilarious Hand Puns and Jokes!

Introduction

Hands play an integral role in our lives, often taken for granted but always essential. They help us communicate, create, and connect. Whether you’re clapping, waving, or lending a helping hand, these appendages are central to countless activities and expressions.

Given their importance and versatility, it’s no surprise that hand-related humor is so popular. From puns and jokes to proverbs and malapropisms, hand humor has a unique charm that can tickle anyone’s funny bone.

This collection of 280+ hand puns and jokes will have you high-fiving yourself in delight. Each section is carefully curated to offer a variety of laughs, ensuring there’s something for everyone.

In-Hand-Sible Laughter Top Picks For Hilarious Hand Puns & Jokes!

Why did the hand cross the road? To get to the other palm!
What did the fingers say to the thumb? “I’m in glove with you!”
Why was the hand always calm? It knew how to handle things.
What do you call a hand that can’t stop writing? A palm pilot.
Why did the hand go to school? To improve its grasp on things.
What do you call a famous hand? A celebrity palm.
Why did the hand go to the doctor? It had a palm reading.
What did one hand say to the other at dinner? “Can you pass the wrist?”
Why did the hand win the award? It was outstanding in its field.
What did the left hand say to the right hand? “You’re always right!”
Why was the hand always happy? It never had a bad day in its palm.
What did the hand say to the foot? “Stop walking all over me!”
Why did the hand start a band? It wanted to drum up some business.
What do you call a hand with a lot of ideas? A brainstorm.
Why did the hand get detention? It couldn’t stop clapping.
What’s a hand’s favorite type of music? Palm-rythm and blues.
Why did the hand make a good leader? It had a firm grasp on things.

What did the hand say to the dough? “I knead you!”
Why was the hand good at sports? It always had a good grip.
What do you call a hand that tells jokes? A palm-edian.
Why did the hand go to the party? To get a handle on fun.
What’s a hand’s favorite vegetable? A palm-ato.
Why was the hand always clean? It didn’t want to get in a jam.
What did the hand say to the clock? “I’m on hand time!”
Why did the hand love gardening? It had a green thumb.

Unleash The Hand-Y Humor With These Hilarious One-Liners & Puns!

I’m a fan of hand puns; they’re quite gripping!
When life gets tough, take it hand-in-hand.
Handshakes are just a palm reader’s way of saying hello.
Never underestimate the power of a helping hand.
Handwriting is just drawing letters with your hand.
Want a hand with that? Just ask!
Hands down, this is the best party I’ve ever been to!
You have to hand it to palm trees; they know how to stay cool.
Hand puppets are a great way to express yourself.
The hand is quicker than the eye, especially when it’s holding a magic trick.
Handy people know how to nail it every time.
Palm readers never need a second hand.
Always lend a helping hand; it’s never out of style.
Life is better when you have a handle on things.
Hands are the original multitaskers.
A handshake is worth a thousand words.
Let’s give a big hand to all the volunteers.
It’s handy to know some good puns.
Hands are amazing; they have a lot of nerve!
I’ve got to hand it to you; that was a great joke!
You can’t spell ‘handy’ without ‘hand’.
I’ve got a good grasp on this situation.
High five for a job well done!
Keep your hands to yourself, unless you’re helping out.
Palm readers always know what’s coming next.

Gobble Up The Laughs Turkey Puns & Jokes For Thanksgiving

Getting A ‘Handle’ On Humor With These Hand-Based Proverbs!

“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.”
“Many hands make light work.”
“A helping hand is better than a praying lip.”
“The devil makes work for idle hands.”
“The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.”
“A hand up is better than a handout.”
“Cold hands, warm heart.”
“Hands speak louder than words.”
“Lend a hand where you can.”
“All hands on deck!”
“A heavy hand will crush but a light touch will heal.”
“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”
“The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.”
“Many hands, many minds.”
“Out of hand, out of control.”
“Show of hands for a quick decision.”
“Caught red-handed.”
“In safe hands.”
“Hand in hand, we stand.”
“From hand to mouth.”
“First-hand experience is the best teacher.”
“Put your hands together for a round of applause.”
“The upper hand in any situation.”
“Keep your hands clean.”
“Hand of fate.”

Palms Up For Some Hilarious QnA Jokes & Puns About Hands!

Why did the hand go to school? To get a better grip on knowledge.
What did the palm say to the fingers? “Stick with me!”
Why did the hand break up with the foot? It couldn’t stand the smell.
What did the hand say to the glove? “You fit like a glove!”

Why did the fingers argue? They couldn’t agree on a point.
What did one hand say to the other on a cold day? “I’m feeling a bit frosty.”
Why did the hand join a band? It wanted to give a helping hand.
What’s a hand’s favorite sport? Palm-reading.
Why was the hand always calm? It knew how to handle things.
What did the fingers say to the thumb on a bad day? “Hang in there!”
Why did the hand go to therapy? It needed a hand to hold.
What’s a hand’s favorite holiday? Palm Sunday.
Why was the hand always invited to parties? It was great at clapping.
What do you call a hand that can’t stop writing? A palm pilot.
Why did the hand get a promotion? It had a firm grasp on things.
What did the hand say to the scissors? “I’m a cut above.”
Why did the hand start gardening? It had a green thumb.
What did the hand say to the clock? “I’m on hand time!”
Why did the hand become an artist? It loved to draw.
What did the hand say to the cookie jar? “I’m ready to grab some treats!”
Why did the hand get a tattoo? To make a permanent impression.
What’s a hand’s favorite book? A gripping novel.
Why did the hand go to the spa? To get pampered.
What did the hand say to the mirror? “I’ve got to hand it to you.”
Why did the hand take a nap? It was feeling a bit knackered.

Handy Humor: Dad Jokes & Puns About Hands

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
How does a palm tree get fit? It does palm-ups!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems to handle.
How do hands stay fit? They do finger exercises.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be a chicken sedan.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheet
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory.
Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on so many levels.
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forest1.

Double The Fun: Hand-Crafting Hilarious Double Entendres & Puns!

I’m at your hand and call.
A hand in the bush is worth two in the palm.
She has a hand on my heart.
He handed me a surprise.
Give it a hand; it’s a clap-tastic show!
She’s a handful, but worth it.
I’m just trying to get a handle on things.
It’s hands-down the best decision.
You’ve got to hand it to him; he’s very persistent.
She handed in her resignation.
I’m handling this situation with care.
He has a hand in every decision.
It’s a matter of hand and heart.
He’s the right hand man.

They work hand in hand.
That joke was off-hand.
She handled it like a pro.
I got a handful of good news.
It’s a hand-me-down tradition.
I’ll hand it over to you.
You’re handling this well.
That’s out of hand.
Hand over the reins.
I need a hand with this.
I’m on hand if you need help.

Getting A Handle On Some Clever Hand-In-Hand Recursive Puns

This joke is so hand-some.
Hands down, the best!
Hand it over!
I can’t handle this anymore.
Give me a hand with this.
I’m handling it.
Hand in glove.
Hand over fist.
Out of hand.
In safe hands.
A handful of laughs.
Get a handle on it.
Hand-picked just for you.
At hand’s length.
Hand-in-hand.
Left-handed compliment.
Handedness at its best.
All hands on deck.
Handy andy.
Hand-written humor.
Handcrafted hilarity.
Handsome reward.
Hands-free fun.
Off-hand joke.
Hand-stand-up comedy.

Get Stitched Up with the Sewing se Puns & Jokes!

Handing Out Hilarious Malapropisms: A Play On Words Gone ‘Hand’ In Hand

“I handstand corrected.”
“He has the upper-hand.”
“They’re handing in gloves.”
“Let’s give a hand for our performer.”
“I’m at hand’s end.”
“That was a handful.”
“She’s got a handle on it.”
“It’s hands-on experience.”
“Don’t bite the hand that’s golden.”
“I’m in hand-to-mouth.”
“Let’s go hand over heels.”
“He’s all hands and no action.”
“This is hand and glove operation.”
“She’s got hand-eye coordination.”
“Let’s lend a helping hand.”

“They’re hand in glove.”
“Give me a handful of applause.”
“I’m out of my hand.”
“I’ve got a hand-ache.”
“He’s a handy-mandible.”
“Handsome is as handsome does.”
“He’s a hand-hog.”
“She’s hand and heels in love.”
“This situation is hand and foot.”
“I’m on hand and knee.”

Hand Over A Laugh With These Hilarious Tom Swifties

“I’m grasping the situation,” said Tom handily.
“I’ll never let go,” said Tom grippingly.
“It’s a hands-on project,” said Tom practically.
“I give up,” said Tom resignedly.
“Let’s give a round of applause,” said Tom clappingly.
“I feel so empty-handed,” said Tom voidly.
“It’s a handful,” said Tom overwhelmedly.
“I’m giving you a hand,” said Tom assistively.
“It’s out of my hands,” said Tom helplessly.
“Handle with care,” said Tom gingerly.
“I’m all thumbs,” said Tom clumsily.
“It’s a handy gadget,” said Tom usefully.
“I’m armed and ready,” said Tom weaponly.
“It slipped through my fingers,” said Tom unfortunately.
“You’re in good hands,” said Tom reassuringly.
“I’m pulling your leg,” said Tom jokingly.
“It’s a hand-me-down,” said Tom second-handedly.
“I can’t handle this,” said Tom stressfully.
“You have the upper hand,” said Tom concededly.
“Let’s hand it over,” said Tom passingly.
“It’s within arm’s reach,” said Tom closely.
“It’s off-hand,” said Tom carelessly.
“I’m high-fiving you,” said Tom jubilantly.
“You’ve got a firm grip,” said Tom tightly.
“It’s hand-crafted,” said Tom skillfully.

Handy Spoonerisms: Getting A Handle On Humor

“Bland new” instead of “brand new”.
“Well-boiled icicle” instead of “well-oiled bicycle”.
“Nicking your pose” instead of “picking your nose”.
“Runny babe” instead of “bunny rabbit”.
“Tease my ears” instead of “ease my tears”.
“Gleaming tower” instead of “teaming glower”.
“Fight in your race” instead of “right in your face”.
“Wave the sails” instead of “save the whales”.
“Nug as a bug” instead of “snug as a rug”.
“Cub and ready” instead of “rub and petty”.
“Go and shake a tower” instead of “take a shower”.
“Prain Boast” instead of “Brain Post”.
“Knucklehead” instead of “huckle ned”.
“Please show me the belts” instead of “bell the sheets”.
“Ease my ears” instead of “tease my fears”.
“Deck of cards” instead of “check the guards”.
“Toast of the town” instead of “roast a cow”.
“Peas and carrots” instead of “cease and barots”.
“Gore blimey” instead of “glore bimey”.
“Muddle cother” instead of “cuddle mother”.
“Holy night” instead of “lowly height”.
“Nifty baggers” instead of “bifty naggers”.
“Cunning focks” instead of “funny cocks”.
“Flesh and blood” instead of “blush and flood”.
“Clip and snip” instead of “nip and clip”.

Knock-Knock. Who’s There? Hand Me A Laugh With These Jokes!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hand. Hand who? Hand over the candy!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Palm. Palm who? Palm your breaks, it’s just a joke!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Handy. Handy who? Handy over the remote, please!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Thumb. Thumb who? Thumby out of here!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Finger. Finger who? Finger out a way to make me laugh!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wrist. Wrist who? Wrist easy, it’s just a knock-knock joke!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clap. Clap who? Clap your hands if you love knock-knock jokes!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Glove. Glove who? Glove at first sight!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? High. High who? High five for answering the door!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Grip. Grip who? Grip your sides, this joke is hilarious!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fist. Fist who? Fist time I’ve knocked, hope you like jokes!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Palm. Palm who? Palm your nerves, it’s just a joke!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stretch. Stretch who? Stretch your hand out and open the door!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hand. Hand who? Hand it over, it’s my turn to tell a joke!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Push. Push who? Push the door open and laugh!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wave. Wave who? Wave at me from the other side!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pat. Pat who? Pat yourself on the back for answering!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tap. Tap who? Tap your feet to this beat!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hold. Hold who? Hold on, it’s just a joke!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shake. Shake who? Shake hands with a new friend!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Handy. Handy who? Handy with a good joke?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Catch. Catch who? Catch my hand!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Flex. Flex who? Flex your muscles, it’s time to laugh!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pinch. Pinch who? Pinch me, I must be dreaming!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Twist. Twist who? Twist and shout, it’s a joke!

Conclusion

We’ve explored a vast array of hand puns, jokes, and humorous sayings. From classic one-liners to clever proverbs, and from witty malapropisms to playful Spoonerisms, there’s no shortage of ways to make you laugh using hand humor

. These jokes are perfect for sharing with friends, breaking the ice, or simply enjoying a chuckle on your own.

Hands are more than just tools; they are a source of endless creativity and amusement. By giving these jokes a try, you’ll find yourself appreciating the humor in everyday gestures and actions. So go ahead, spread the laughter, and remember: whenever you need a lift, just think of a handy pun to brighten your day.